The Ramayana war in Lanka with Ram vs Ravan took place because Ravan kidnapped Sita. Ravan kidnapped Sita because his sister Surpanakha said she was hot and sexy and what not. Surpanakha originally went to Ravan because she tried seducing Ram and Laxman, got spurned and got her nose chopped off. In conclusion, Surpanakha is the person responsible for the entire war thing. Now we have concrete evidence to prove this. Ram’s and Laxman’s cell phone was recently unearthed from Ayodhya, we know it really is Ram’s cell because the wallpaper said “My dear followers, please destroy any other religious establishment in Ayodhya”. The following series of messages gives us a clear idea of what really happened.
Sometime BC, 03:32PM
Surpanakha : hey v all w8in in frnt f pvr...whr u...
Ram : Sorry, i lost all contacts with my cell in the forest. who’s this?
Surpanakha : stp messin arnd ya...cme fst...moo v gonna start...
Ram: I think you got wrong number, this is ram.
Surpanakha: omg:D:D:D!!!...criously?...da prinze f ayodhya?...
Ram: Ya, that Ram only. may i know who this is?
Surpanakha: omg dis s ossum ya...am ur biggest fan...ur 2 kool ya...:D:D:D...
Ram: Thanks :) does my biggest fan have a name?
Surpanakha : hehe :P ma frendz cll me shrp nails...hey ram...r u killin demonz rte nw :P...
Ram : No, i’m msging you only na? :P i thought u were going for movie?
Surpanakha : lolll :D:D nono...ur mre kooler thn dis srk moo v ...so tld ma frendz 2 go wth out me :)
Ram : Wow, didn’t know i was that famous :D
Surpanakha : hey wat u tellin ya...ur 1nd nly ram no :D...hey listen...u free nw...
Ram : Yup, i’m free.
Surpanakha : cn v meet ya...i want 2gt ur auto graph 4m u...plzzzzzzz na...vll meet in new ccd in tat banyan 3...
Ram : Oops! looks like my wIFE SITA needs me to buy some stuff. So can’t make it :(
Surpanakha : :(:(:((( plzz plz plzzzzzzzzz ya...4 ur fan no...
Ram : Listen, my brother Laxman will be free now. he’s single ;) i’ll send my autograph with him, ok?
Surpanakha : hmmmmm...
Ram : Don’t worry, he’s haute ;)
Surpanakha : k k :):):)...
4:13PM
Ram : Dude lax, this crazy chick is hitting on me :) she ‘accidentally’ smsed me and says she's my biggest fan :P
Laxman : ozzum broooo :D:D yo got nother 1 eh?yaya soore, 'accidentally'...vat didja say?didja tel bhabiji?...
Ram : No way dude, she'll make me sleep on the tree again! :|
Laxman : buahaha!yaya...so vat didja do?
Ram : I gave her your number :P
Laxman : %@&*$%@...i kno ur mah bigbro nd al...bt sumtymz ur sucha pain dude!!!!vat da hell shud i do vit her?use her 4 target practice?
Ram : She's an idiot dude, just mess around with her and dump her like you always do :)
Laxman : u owe me 1...next tym v go out,i wanna use mah rekha security instead of our lock...
Ram : Whatever dude.
4:47PM
Surpanakha: hiii! is dis laxman? :):)
Laxman : yo!diz iz lax,may i kno who r u?
Surpanakha: :)ur bro gav me dis no,sed ur a really kool dood:)
Laxman : oh rite,ur da beeg fan eh?bro told me bout yo...
Surpanakha: :D:Dhehe...simply...hmmmm...
Laxman : so u wer sad my bro waz nt free eh?am ur 2nd prize rite?
Surpanakha: loooll :D:Dnuthin lik tat ok...ur also famous ok...:P:P:P...
Laxman : o rly?
Surpanakha: ya rly!:)listen...u bz wid sumthin nw?...
Laxman : w8 i got2 keel 1 demon nw....ya nw free!..tell..
Surpanakha: :D:D:D lolol...ya if ur free lets meetup at tat new ccd in tat banyan 3...
Laxman : sorry bt i don wear 3 banyans...hw bout dat treetop cafe on top f tree eh?
Surpanakha: omg!!!:D:Dur 22222 much ok...ya sure :) wat tym?
Laxman : c ya der @ 5:30
Surpanakha: :):)sure sure...hehe...
5:01PM
Laxman : brooo! ur rite! shez sooo dumb...dat bitch thinks shez goin out wimme...haha...
Surpanakha : u asshole!u sent me tat msg :(:(:(
Laxman : oops!atleast nw u don hav 2go 2 cafe alone and w8:P
Surpanakha : fuk u ya!! :(:(:( ill tll mah big bro 2cum kick ur astra!!
Laxman : sooo scawwyyy...haha...stoopid bitch!
5:09PM
Surpanakha : hey bro!sum1 is bein mean 2 me :(:(:(
Ravan : I'm in a meeting now. Will call you later.
Surpanakha : tat ram and his bro cut off mah nose :(:(:(
Ravan : Go to our doctor, i'll come pick you up. Will talk to you later, now busy.
Surpanakha : rams wife is hot!!!!
Ravan : Go on...
The rest as they say is mythological history!
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