Cambodian vacation : Getting there...

"Dude, next week I'm gonna go via KL to.............CAMBODIA!"

"Cambodia? WTF is in Cambodia"

...was the response I kept getting from anyone and everyone I tried to brag to. I was

expecting something like "WAAAW! U so ozzum dood" or "ZOMGKEWLOL!" or something. I guess Cambodia wasn't that impressive as 'YOU ASS OF AY' or 'FUCKIN GOA MAN'.

Why I chose Cambodia? It's a lil bit of a plan by the now AWOL Rindo, a German guy I met on the plane called Peter and the Cambodian currency(1 INR = 80+ Cambodian Riel WOHOOOO!).

The elaborate travel plan consisted of

TO : Blore ––bus––> Chn ––fly––> KL ––fly––> Phnom Pehn, le capitale  le Cambodia

7 days and 7 nights later

FRO: Phnom Pehn ––fly––> KL ––fly––> Blore ––sulk––> Boring life

'Cause it's cheap and 'cause…

So by using my long running sick Grandfather excuse in my office, I got my 1 week of leave. Don't blame me, had I asked for 1 week to chill out, it'd just be really irresponsible with my work and blah blah blah blah.

I was kinda jobless in office so had time to make this shitty thing

Meanwhile in China, a rather skinny strappy hyper lass was also preparing to land in Phnom Pehn. Here's a picture that's worth a word or two.

:P

But enough about her.

Back to moi.

I return to Chennai and find all my friends there less than joyous to greet me since I betrayed Chennai when I moved to Bangalore. After being rejected, dejected, suicidal, reminded by my brain of Justin Bieber and other worse things in life, I hop over to the airport.

Chennai Airport - One does not simply walk there

From previous experience, all the middle class middle aged men with mid life crisis and a full sleeve shirt from Chennai, worked there. Interesting questions I encountered there:-

(Q)You have not added check in baggage option for your ticket, do you have check in baggage?

ZOMG! Your paradox blow my minds

(Q)You're going to Cambodia for pleasure? What kinds of pleasure?

You know, martinis, sex, nuclear missiles, tuxedos and other James Bond stuff

(Q)Why sucha big big bag?

I'm trying to compensate.

(Q)Cambodia? Is that in Gelf?

Yup, right next to France.

In case you were actually wondering...

After getting stuck for not having the proper Govt approved seal or something, I had time to explore the new Chennai Airport and it's BIG! The decor isn't great with the scaffolding and construction workers but skipping through that, I take my window seat. Here's some of what I saw...

Chennai at night

Twilight - The non gay non vampire kind

The Russian couple next to me was friendly but just wouldn't shut the hell up. Also they spoke what they thought was English and I nodded my head slowly just in case. I was way too distracted by the hot wife, who apparently has a thing for big fat bald bearded hairy men who wear bright blue sleeveless and a Patiala.

The Russian guy I saw
It's kinda inaccurate - He didn't have a collar

The captain announced that they were descending towards KL and suddenly a bunch of my country men jump up and proceed towards the exit so as to get of the aircraft first. I'm not kidding; they even dragged their elderly relatives to stand in line. The air hostesses had a tough time explaining to them that they were being retards and they should return to their seats, which they did after much complaining and promise of future pain inflicted upon the wrong doers by their God(s). All the while the Russian couple kept looking at me and I tried my best to momentarily not exist, but with minimal success.

Landing in KL, Mr. Huang at immigration had troubles communicating with me. Most of what he said was rost in transration. 5 minutes of him shouting, other passengers shouting and me nodding slowly(just in case) I enter KLIA(That's Kuala Lumpur International Airport to you foreigners) where photography is not allowed and hence nos photos.

IDIOT TRAVELLER MISTAKE #1

Having a lot of money at the start of the trip, I spend a lot on junk food and junk souvenirs including a huge toblerone bar. This will screw me over later on.

Food of the Gods

After walking around the airport with my 10 ton back pack, I finally decide to start Relak Singh. Almost every person in the airport (minus married peoples) were sleeping on the ground. While carefully considering the physical strain of my bag against the sanitary condition of the floor, I see a Gentleman walk in with a stroller laptop bag, a tie, jacket, a coat and matching pair of leather shoes. He walked to a side, puffed out his chest, looked around, then proceeded to unbutton his coat and jacket, unleash his bountiful guts, remove his shoes, lie down with his head on one hand and the other hand between his thighs.

Having found a role model, I too went flat on the (hopefully) clean floor.

Little rest, some queues and lotta hobbibru engrish later, I was on the plane to Phnom Pehn, the capital of Cambodia. Unfortunately, they were playing "Moves like Jagger" by Maroon 5 again and again and again. The endless repetition was slowly breaking my will to live when I saw this outside the window.

After receiving all the stupid documents of immigration and given the stern warning not to fill them up till we land, we landed.

I was the only non-white tourist at the airport for some reason and was thus treated with much hostility for some reason.

There was even a guy at the airport who walked over to me while filling the form..

Guy : You fill form!

Me : Oooo...kaaay. I'm doing that.

Guy : You use pen!

Me : Ok!

Guy : You fill form with pen only!

Me : Ok?

Guy : Hmmm. You fill form. Pen.

I still don't know if he was the retarded younger brother of some one working there and they just let him run around and have fun in the airport. Visa costs 20$ as written there, which seemed pretty organized as opposed to everyone online warning about them asking 25$.

So I get out the airport for my waiting taxi, buy a Cambodian SIM and run off to the hostel.

Coming up - Phnom Pehn and the depressing past