Bollywood cliches that must stop

Before I start ranting, I must note to one and all that I AM aware that every other film industry, especially Hollywood, employs the use to cliches in lieu of intelligent screenwriting as well. If your first reaction to the below cliches is "then tell us Hollywud also use clinches no?", kindly go punch yourself in the groin till your respective Bollywood idol walks up to you and tells you to stop.

So let's crack on, shall we?

The choreographed dance sequence


Yes, this is a cliche. I know songs are put in movies to make extra money, but they are all now generic, lacking substance and easily digestible by all. So is baby food.
Once in a while you have the dream sequence and/or the making of a music video excuse to crow bar in a song or two(the latter a brilliant example of coordination as the entire song is taken in a single take). In any other case, it's just down right annoying to have the continuity broken by some dancing and singing to as to keep those people who hate all the talking, entertained and interested.

The club scene
The most common excuse for a song sequence these days is the club scene. Although this is as close to reality as the Lock Ness monster.


What Bollywood tells us that happens in clubs
Source: tr3s.com


What actually happens in clubs
Source: Deccan Chronicle archives
If you want to do a music release of the movies and have more cash to stuff into your mattress, I suggest you make it subtle and play it over a montage or something. If you make the characters dance and sing like a bunch of circus animals, I'm going to assume you're an idiot and hate all your future releases.




Everyone sings
Who the hell is playing the background music? And how can they hear anything being on a train?
Source: Bollywood Eye
Let us assume that the participants have been meeting over the weekends to practice the moves for the dance and make it seem impromptu. What about the singing?
All those songs and I didn't see one instance of someone busting out their Bose speakers for background music. Do they live in a reality where they all can simultaneously hear karaoke music in their heads or do they just sing without music?


The Action sequence

Phuck Physics
Seat belts save lives...oh wait.
Source: Heavy.com
ZOMG! That's so mind blowing that my mind is blown wonly. The epitome of what Bollywood would do to garner cheap applause while keeping the audience dumb enough for the next movie which divorces itself from physics. 
And you make fun of Rajini Kanth, hypocrites!

Unlimited stamina!


The hurdles leg of the Bollywood Ironman challenge
Source: dooleyonline.com
Next time you see a chase scene in the movie, time it and try running at your top speed for the same amount of time. If you succeed, congrats! You're really in shape. In most cases, it'll bring you to the stark reality of having to run for your life without getting tired AT ALL!
What's their secret? Gatorade? The star from Mario? Multiple takes? Unless the characters involved in the chase are established as long distance runners, I'm not buying this.


The script


I know the script is the least funded element of the movie, as opposed to the main actors' ego. After a while, I feel like they're not even trying anymore.

Character arc - The Male

There are only two character transformations for a male protagonist. The most popular being turning from demi god to god status. Most of this doesn't involve using the brain in any which way. Thus giving the message to children out there that any problem can be solved by punching it away. This most definitely won't lead to a violent generation of men. But smoking is totally fatal yo!


All this and I'm just being god human
Source: movietalkies.com


The more recent character arc which is unfortunately the coming of age saga where a boy(read: Ranbir Kapoor) starts his journey as a happy person and ends up being married and shit. Why can't the person show responsibility by paying his taxes or helping his Mom do the dishes or something?


Coming of age movie?
Source: One India wallpapers


Character arc - The Female

There are only two ways a female protagonist can evolve her character. One is the common nerd to fun loving type, aka, she let her hair down and took off her glasses female character arc.

Sources: Rediff.com and missmalini.com

Another is the Slut whore bitch to Indian woman metamorphosis. The Slut whore bitch creature would include characteristics like drinking, smoking, wearing clothes burnt by Gandhi and bringing attention to herself. The Indian woman would mostly stand in """traditional""" Indian wear(there aren't enough "s) while folding her hands over her crotch, you know, since the opposing team is about to take a free kick.

Now there's a shy Indian women dressed traditionally and conservatively (till nightfall)
Source: Hot actress photos (Apparently)


Where are your parents?

No seriously, where are they in most of these stories? Do you know how weird that would be in real life?

How I met your mother, but both if us don't exist
Source: Apne.tv



The actors


'Super' 'stars'


I'm tired of these mudda fuggin' stars in these mudda fuggin' movies! We get it, you're a big star, everyone loves you. You don't have to slyly refer to the fact in your movies. The fact that you still are making movies should be enough for someone sans inferiority complex.
So enough of the references towards older and more credible movies, hero shots, protracted intro shots, 100 feet tall bill boards and temples. You made money off of us, you made decent movies, you aren't a bad human being(well, some of you). Now go make headlines by having a spectacular death and being immortalized for the same.
At the end of the day, it's the fault of the 'fans' for injecting so much of self obsession into their 'idols'. Did you know that those rich people wouldn't look in your direction even if you threw yourself at them naked?

Ya ya, you love me, I'm awesome. Now talk to the hand
Source: wn.com

Younger roles

If Leo Dicaprio can't do it, then you probably shouldn't either. The term 'suspension of disbelief'  is already proverbially stretched thin as it is. Please spare us of your delusional ego trip where you get surgery and you'll live for a couple of more decades or so.
Source: Imdb.com

The movie

Sequels and remakes

Remember back when trilogies were good? Me neither.
Source: The Indian Express archives
The ultimate evidence that we, as a country, are henceforth artistically bankrupt. That and the fact that we haven't put down Uday Chopra. It also proves that we've reached the pinnacle of going the safe way, ie, reusing tried and tested formula over and over again. But what do those discussions in those boardrooms go like?
"I got it! I have a fresh idea. We can make a movie about...pants!"
"Pants?"
"Everyone wears pants. It's topical!"
"You sure about this?"
"Nah, let's remake/make a sequel to Zanjeer."
"Right, borrow credibility when we have none."


Ripping off Hollywood

This happened? How desperate can you be fools?
Source: itimes.com
Despite all the criticism towards Hollywood and hatred towards the 'aping the west' concept, Bollywood seems to love the idea. When not making sequels and remakes of older, better Bollywood movies, producers now seem to think it's good idea to make unauthorized remakes of older better Hollywood movies.
At this point, we all know it's no longer about the creativity and originality as we get one of those types per year. By repeatedly feeding the audience dribble, it has become the standard, which, by any perspective, is currently cub par.
How's this for a fresh idea - If you don't have any idea as to what to make for your next movie, go home and not spend your money.


Can you think of anymore movie cliches floating around(or flowering up) these days. I'd like to make a video of these things.

BJP Manifesto: First draft

All image sources: Wikipedia for Modi, Indian Cow and Ayodhya.

  1. Form a coalition Government to gain power. Blame allies for not keeping up most of the promises mentioned below.
  2. Growth growth and more growth. How? Viagra, that's how.
  3. We must rebuild Ram Temple in Ayodhya (It's not that this'll be the ultimate talking point)
  4. We must nuke Chiang Mai as they claim the ruins in the location to be that of Ayuthayya. We all know there is only one Ayodhya.
  5. Every history text book will be replaced with verses from the Vedas.
  6. Every book will be replaced with verses from the Vedas.
  7. Every license plate number will be replaced with verses from the Vedas.
  8. Sex can only be performed for procreation.
  9. Sex can only be performed in the missionary position.
  10. There will be zero tolerance against terrorists and terrorism in general. That is all. No further details on the implementation of that statement.
  11. Beef will be banned along with the state of Kerala, which'll henceforth be considered as a part of Pakistan.
  12. Every household will raise a Cow and pray to the cow everyday. Cow can be purchased from the Government at subsidised rates. 
  13. Maintenance of the Cow will be the responsibility of the household.
  14. Any property found without a Cow will be considered a forfeit and the land will be given to Corporates for free in the name of progress.
  15. Any property found with the Cow deceased due to natural or unnatural causes will be considered a forfeit and the land will be given to Corporates for free in the name of progress.
  16. Any property found with the owners having committed suicide due to the inability to bear the costs of a Cow will be considered a forfeit and the land will be given to Corporates for free in the name of progress.
  17. English will be a banned language. All movies, books and logic in English will henceforth be considered hazardous for the country.
  18. The word  'Secular' will be replaced with 'Homosexual'.
  19. The inflation and other economic things can be solved by prayer and doing the same thing the Congress claims they'll do. Except they won't do it. And neither will we.
  20. Every good thing will be a by product of Team Modi.
  21. Every bad thing will be a by product of UPA.
  22. Every random thing will be a by product of AK-49.
  23. All sexual deviants must be removed from the nation so as to prevent un-Hinduisation. They will all be given tickets to leave the country, courtesy Malaysian Airlines.
  24. All atheists will be sent to Saudi Arabia.
  25. All Muslims can go die will be ignored will be thrown a bone to chew on will be personally hi-fied by Modi.
  26. All puppies will be lined up and a road roller ran over them.
  27. All those without a photo of Modi in their house, will be given a free Modi tattoo.
  28. All Indian Muslims are to be traded with Pakistan Hindus by the end of the year. There are exceptions to this rule:
    1. AR Rahman can stay as he has won an Oscar award. But awards from the US are useless to us. But since he won it eitherways...
    2. APJ can stay since everyone likes him. Also, he follows the Vedas which makes him more of a Hindu.
    3. Farhan Aktar can stay if he wins the Film Fair awards.
  29. All citizens are urged to not question any of the above mandates, under threat of political isolation and fusion with Pakistan.
  30. All citizens will be mandated to supply their iron, mud and bones for constructing the over sized statues of Freedom fighters approved by the party. Each monument will built at the capitals of the rebelling states.
  31. Hindu hindu hindu growth growth? Growth growth Modi growth, Modi Modi. Modi Hindu Modi Modi. Modi!
  32. MODI!
Ab ki bar, Modi Sarkar.

The syllabus of life



  1. Birth: Commonly known as the number one cause of death. Once propelled to this existence, there is little that is comprehensible about it. The entire concept was not within your control and your ability to have any control of the life that follows depends on your ability to communicate, which is rather difficult since the concept of communication is one of the things that is incomprehensible. Through no fault of your own, you're already hated by a larger part of the population due to aspects you had absolutely no control over and can't change as long as you exist. One's best bet, if one were to survive this stage, is the intelligence level of those who spawned the person.
  2. School: The show box demo program used to condition the participants into the ideal survivors in the real world whilst simulating none of the characteristics themselves. The conductors of this institution of mass hypnosis and conveyor belt factory are burdened with the task of removing any blemish from the unwilling products, whether they cause any damage or advantage. Authority is imposed, whether it remains corrupt or otherwise, in a manner such that the limitations of thought is enforced for the remainder of the existence. This stage will yield the perfect robot, one which looks and thinks like every other future cog in the machine based on narrow criteria laid out by those requiring cogs for their machines.
  3. College: The glorified version of school where one needs to specialize on one's ability for the rest of one's life. While selecting a suitable curriculum is indeed a difficult task, it has to be done by someone who still hasn't grown into adulthood nor has any experience with the real world so as to take all that into thought. In most cases, most of the decisions are already laid out in the simple Yes or No format, with each answer creating a tangent from the decision maker's former life. Any and all knowledge acquired will hardly be used later in life. Every experience will shape the individual permanently.
  4. Job: The end result of the pointless competition and yard stick measurements, is to obtain the ability to slowly kill one's brain cells over five days consecutively so that they can be killed off much faster over the course of the next two days in an assortment of ways. This stage brings death closer to the person, not due to the physical or mental damage imposed, but due to the warped perspective of time. The person now tries to survive nearly 70 percent of the their time so as to find solace in the remainder of the 30 percent of the time. On fear of the 30 percent time running out soon due to excessive rest periods and self indulgence, the overall time spent would seem lesser in hindsight while stretched out when happening. The stigma of obtaining a job that would benefit oneself rather than the machine can be dealt in outdated ideologies of success and procuring a life partner.
  5. Marriage: Conveyed as the ultimate reason for one's existence so as to remove any remaining semblance of individuality due to new found responsibility and life style adjustments. Portrayed as the finish of the race the person has been running till this point of their lives, it can easily be made mandatory via threats of a sad and lonely existence to trivial back up plans of future ailments and difficulties. Unlike the previous institutions, this brain washing occurs in a more subtle and thus substantial manner. As before, the choices dealt, for someone who elects to invest in this scheme are once again limited to one's performances in the previous stages. The best bet is the intelligence level of those who spawned you, though they themselves are crippled in their freedom due to unknown reasons.
  6. Children: If forced undergo the legal prostitution process, within time, one will have to indulge the voices of the machine into furthering the species. Once again, the brain washing occurs in a subtle manner whilst being portrayed as the ultimate stage of human development. This is the final stage to ensure complete and utter obedience to the system by removing all stains of individual radiance by shifting focus unto another, much more vulnerable life form. Once this stage is survived, including repeated progeny as per mass instruction, the individual will indeed gain the ultimate form of no longer being an individual, but rather an absolute part of the membrane that leverages on it's sheer size to as to ensconce all of the harsh reality by creating a prison state. As an added advantage, offspring are also the best retirement plans as the machine and the membrane, though omnipresent, are entirely unreliable and unconditionally selfish in their agenda.
  7. Retirement: An otherwise uneventful point in one's life where the machine deems the person as no longer with the ability to self repair to as to keep it running. Continuing to survive till the last stage depends on the investments one made across all the previous stages with special weightage for the last few stages. The complete serenity and freedom which one has always wished for is finally obtained, although several years of mental conditioning has left one impaired to enjoy it.
  8. Death: The best possible way to slowly peter out of existence without causing much ripples. The point where one is showered generously with praises and becomes accepted in the hearts and minds of all unanimously due to the irreversibility of the process. The ultimate acceptance which one always yearned for is finally achieved albeit at the cost of one's permanent absence from all festivities.


PS: This post is dedicated to you. That's right, YOU. If you've chanced upon this blog, then I'm safe to assume that you have a idea about the syllabus of life and have sometimes even made attempts to escape it. Here's wishing the both of us luck and the hope that in the meantime, I can at least entertain you. Cheers!

How to beat the Monday blues

Source: Some Des Moins University page

 

 

Call in sick [Level: Novice]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: Yes?
Me: Boss! I have a terrible headache.
Boss: What was that?
Me: I said that I have a terrible stomach ache.
Boss: Okay.
Me: So because of my terrible back pain, I won't be coming to office.
Boss: I wish you had at least tried to come up with a good excuse.
Me: I couldn't put my mind to coming up with something better due to this terrible neck pain.
 
Pros: Monday avoided.
Cons: Boss thinks you're an idiot.
 
 

Someone died [Level: Beginner]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: Yes?
Me: Boss! My paternal Grandfather's maternal Uncle's only nephew's daughter-in-law's husband's Mother's only grandchild is dead.
Boss: That's terrible, I'm sorry for your loss. (yawn)
Me: So I can't come to office.
Boss: Of course you can't, you're dead.
Me: Wait...oh!
 
Pros: Monday avoided, grievance leave.
Cons: Have to pretend to be sad, ghost of the person whom you killed will haunt you, Boss thinks you're a liar.
 

Marriage [Level: Medium]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: What is it?
Me: I'm getting married.
Boss: Whoa, when did this...
Me: It was all too sudden.
Boss: Congrats, what's the bride's name?
Me: Well, uh....it's....where's the damn invitation card?...she's from a nice family...and...her...name is....VINAY!
Boss: That's your name.
Me: I knew that.
 
Pros: Monday avoided, you're now married.
Cons: You're now married.
 

Threaten nuclear strike [Level: North Korea]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: You again?
Me: I won't come to office today.
Boss: What? Why?
Me: If you ask me, I shall have to retaliate with my full nuclear capabilities.
Boss: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: Don't tempt me Boss. I won't hesitate to blow you and your company away.
Boss: Look man, I don't have time for this.
Me: You've given me no choice...시작 발사 순서!
Boss: ....(hangs up)....
 
Pros: Monday avoided, you've learnt Korean.
Cons: Possible unemployment, institutionalization at an asylum.
 

Kidnapped [Level: Not bad]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: Stop calling me!
Me: Boss! I don't have much time. They've got me!
Boss: What? Who?
Me: They've kidnapped me Boss.
Boss: WHA?!
Me: They've demanded that the Company pay up a ransom of 10% of my current salary.
Boss: Uh...mfff...Hello? I can't hear you.
Me: They just want a 10% increase. Please, they've worked so hard in kidnapping me.
Boss: See, they weren't proactive in their kidnapping. They also were in the same category of different kidnappers who'd kidnapped the CEO of the company. Relative performance wise, I felt...
Me: What're you talking about?
Boss: ... (hangs up) ...
 
Pros: Monday avoided, adventures lie ahead.
Cons: Possible death, no hike, multiple leaves.
 

Suicide [Level: Committed]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: WHAT?
Me: I'm gonna do it boss.
Boss: I don't care.
Me: I'm gonna kill myself.
Boss: Whatever!
Me: I've written your name in my suicide note.
Boss: WAIIII...
Me: .......
 
Pros: Monday avoided, Boss doesn't get hike, FaceBook attention.
Cons: Certain death, no more salary.
 
 

Religion [Level: Invincible]

Me: I can't come to office today.
Boss: What're you...why?
Me: 'Cause GOD!
Boss: Okay.
 
Pros: Monday avoided, messiah complex.
Cons: Crucifixion.

 

Assassination [Level: Badass]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: Please don't come to office anymore!
Me: Do you see a red dot on your shirt?
Boss: What is that?
Me: Now watch as it moves to your shoulder.
Boss: What...you...OW! FUCK! SOME ONE SHOT ME! SOME ONE SHOT ME!
Me: Damn straight.
Boss: FUUUUUCK...I'M BEING SH.......
Me: Rest in peace bitch.
 
Pros: Monday avoided, alternate career option, being a bad ass.
Cons: ABSOLUTELY NONE.
 
 

Nuclear strike [Level: Hardcore]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: ...OT AT! AAAAAH!.... Wait, where am I?
Me: I won't come to office today.
Boss: What's going on...who is this?
Me: You have 10 seconds before a IBM, aimed at your crotch, hits it's mark.
Boss: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: Inter Ballistic Missile. You should've figured this out from all the time you spend on Wikipedia. 3 seconds.
Boss: I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will....
Me: Irradiate in peace bitch.
 
Pros: Monday avoided, being a hard core bad ass.
Cons: World War III.
 

Warp reality [Level: God]

Me: Hello? Boss?
Boss: ......
Me: That's right, you no longer exist.
Boss: ......
Me: Also, Mondays no longer exist.
Boss: ......
Me: But since Tuesdays became the new Mondays, I'd to get rid of Tuesdays as well. Then Wednesdays and so on and so forth till nothing exists.
Boss: .......
Me: .........Well, this isn't as interesting as I thought it'd be.
Boss: ........
Me: FINE! Let there be light!
 
Pros: Monday avoided, you are now God.
Cons: God now exists.


 

Two German girls versus Indian men

2 countries, now in bookstores near you

These are actual events which happened when two German girls, Ollie and Sophie, had come down to India for a month long stay. They stayed at my place for a weekend, which is when they shared these stories about the creepy Indian men. I'm deliberately leaving out the locations so as to not sound prejudiced towards any geography.


Prologue: Mr.Beard and his elbow

Upon entry into this country of mystique and adventures, our heroines retire at a hostel. Not being one to be un-savvy in the form of internet communication, Ollie borrows the hostel owner's laptop and begins to google about the Kamasutra.
Along comes Mr.Beard. Mr.Beard had a beard. He also had two arms, each equipped with one elbow. Mr.Beard and his arms settle right next to Ollie for no specific reason what so ever. Ollie smiled at him since she was polite.
Mr.Beard, whips out his elbow and begins rubbing it against Ollies arm to generate static electricity through friction. He realized that his other arm was free and felt sad for the lonely little hand. So he decided to transfer the gained static electricity to his crotch by completing the circuit. Ollie was confused with the experiment and asked Mr.Beard to explain it to her, since she's a girl and doesn't understand science. Mr.Beard was generating far too much electricity to explain to laymen about his experiment and continued in the name of progress and science.
Ollie, being polite, didn't want to hurt Mr.Beard's feelings and ever so politely told him that she's leaving. Mr.Beard, being the politer one, stopped his experiment and offered to leave himself to conduct further experiments with his lightning rod. Ollie was amused.
Mr.Beard later popped out of a cupboard under the stairs fanning himself and being fully contempt.


The lifeguard who wanted chaat

Ollie and Sophie check into another sea side location. They meet a friendly lifeguard. A life guard usually runs in slow motion and saves people from drowning. It was night and the life guard didn't have anyone to save as everyone had already drowned. Instead the life guard was talking to Ollie and Sophie. He seemed like a really nice guy, and all the married women know that when he seems like a nice guy, he really isn't.
Ollie and Sophie didn't know any Hindi, so they were confused when the lifeguard switched to Hindi and asked them if they'd like to eat chaat. Ollie and Sophie knew what chaat was and they'd read from their guides to India that it must be tried. Their excitement and anticipation was met with even more Hindi and even more mentions of 'chaat'.
It then occurred to our travelers that it's too late in the night for any establishment to be selling chaat. When asking the lifeguard about where they would get the chaat, he mistook the question as to how. How what? Well, how to 'chaat'.
He demonstrated by miming eating an ice cream cone. Little did they know that chaat wasn't being used as a noun, but as a verb. Getting the gist of the situation and the lifeguard's request, Ollie and Sophie leave the vicinity to go back to their rooms having not eaten chaat.


Intermission

When Ollie had met one of my friends, she'd asked the cliched question of how she finds India. Ollie replied with "How is India for a woman?". I knew where this was going and changed the flow. She later told me at some point "I used to complain about Germany, but now after coming to India, Germany's not so bad".


A travel companion

Ollie took the bus and was feeling rather lonely sitting in the back seat. The dilemma was that no one who has any idea of how buses function in India would sit in the back seats. But Ollie had a huge backpack which she couldn't leave anywhere else.
Enter the Hero, to save Ollie from her loneliness. The Hero had good English, much like Ollie and hence could communicate well with her. Ollie was happy to finally have someone to talk to and not just stare at her.
Hero asked her where she was from and she told him that she was from Germany. Hero asked her where she was off to and she told him that she was traveling to Cochin. Hero asked her how long she was in India and she told him that she'll be around for a total of one month. Hero asked her whether she would like to fuck him and she told him that he should go sit somewhere else.
It's still not sure if it was Ollie's politeness or the fact that she actually looked like she can take him on, but Hero left so as to provide another lonely traveler with his company. Ollie spent the rest of the journey to Cochin without fretting the fact that no one was sitting next to her.


Temple run (Best story)

Sophie traveled to a small town and went to check out the local temple. She met many other travelers in the town where she stayed who warned her about the guy who stares at women in the temple. Having dealt with several of them before, Sophie confidently marches into the temple.
In the corner, sat the man in question. Much like what they'd already told her, he was staring at her intently. Much like they hadn't told her, he was masturbating, also intently.
Having seen such a scene for the first time, Sophie had no idea as to how she should react. So she picked up the nearest stones and began to pelt the intent little man. When that didn't help to shoo him away, she decided to approach a person of authority, a tactic which has thus far proven spectacularly ineffective in India.
She was trying to communicate to the temple poojari of the incident and he either pretended to not comprehend or didn't. Then Sophie, who's English isn't bad at all, happens to mention the word 'penis'. The poojari immediately blows up in a mixture of embarrassment and indignation. He frantically motions Sophie to make herself scarce so that he can get back to doing poojari things, evidently activities not dealing with the male genitalia.
To this day, Temple Boy lurks the darker corners of the religious establishment, as though forming a metaphor, ready to pounce on the next hapless non-penis bearer.


Telecommunications

Ollie's last few days in India and she needs to recharge her mobile with some talktime. She finds her way into a local recharge shop which was a bit too crowded, like any place in India. While the people were staring at Ollie, like they always do, there was one younger guy among them who was exceptionally well at staring. After having left the shop, the teenager started following her.
Having been followed and stared at for all the trip, Ollie didn't pay any attention tot he kid till he appears right in front of her and asks "I want you number." Ollie, still being the polite person she is, tells him her and asks for his in order to start a civil conversation. Number boy would have none of it.
After repeated demands for her phone number, he switches tactics and starts off with "Pleeeease give me your number" to which the polite Ollie replies that she can't give her number to someone who is a stranger. Several pleas later, she bids him a courteous goodbye and leaves.
Later, she runs into him again at the mall where he triumphantly announces that he has her number. Though taken aback slightly, Ollie still is still cordial with the boy and tells him that it is rather creepy, a word completely lost on the youth.
At the end of the day, she receives several missed calls and messages that just say "hi". And then she left India that night.
Rather anti-climatic when one thinks about it.


Epilogue: Back in Germany

Once back in Germany, Ollie messages me on FB saying that she'd met a group of (probably) drunken idiots who invite her for some mating rituals of their own and her statement verbatim is "...and that reminded me of you.".
Yes, she looks back fondly at the her trip and remembers the desperate men and their pathetic attempts to make contact in the only form that they know. Thanks to their actions, my memory has taken a much less precedence.
Thank you conservative patriarchal society! I hope a meteor collides with us.

PS: I go forth to dedicating this post to a recent reader I'd met who'd gotten me a couple of opportunities in the real world(and not the blogosphere). Knowing that someone actually reads your blog on date makes you want to update it on time, every time.

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