Think society, think double standards

Well, my Mom isn't as stupid as given below, but there are those out there who are. Consider these hypothetical situations after you're done rolling those indignant eyes.

Stable relationship


Me: Mom, I'm in a stable relationship. She's an MBA graduate working in a multinational company, can cook like a boss and watches Tarantino flicks.
Mom: What religion/caste/ethnicity/skin colour is she?
Me: Uh...the one that you don't like.
Mom: Get married to this girl I picked for you, right now. She has been approved by the people.
Me: But...
Mom: SILENCE! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

Several years later...

Mom: Why do you come home late from work?
Me: Oh that? I visit my girl friend every once in a while.
Mom: WHA?! Does your PEOPLE APPROVED wife know?
Me: Of course not, she'd kill me!
Mom: Why would you cheat on her? She's a Literature graduate working in an International School, can bake like a boss and reads Camus.
Me: You've instilled great values in me.



Source: mnn.com
Moral of the story

You are free to pick any item you like, from the list of items given to you by us.









Fate


Mom: Where are you going?
Me: My friend, Atheist, got into an accident.
Mom: That rich spoiled brat? He was probably drinking and driving.
Me: Whatever...they're both admitted to the LootNPillage Hospital.
Mom: They?
Me: Atheist was with Religious, our classmate.
Mom: Looks like it's a bad time for their family. Why don't you pray at the temple for him on your way to the hospital. God works faster than you, you know.
Me: Well, the accident was fast enough.


Source: Free software magazine
Moral of the story

If you disagree with me, you're wrong.











Legalised prostitution (aka Marriage)


Groom's Mom: Now that you're a part of our family, you must call me Mom.
Groom's Dad: And you must call our house, your work place.
Groom: And you have to call yourself Missus Me.
Bride's Dad: Did I just pay for my daughter to not exist anymore?
Bride: Uh, shouldn't you be paying MY Dad for my ownership and my services?
Everyone: SILENCE! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!


Source: The Telegraph
Moral of the story

Marriage is all about conformity and property ownership. The relationship comes second, or third.










Hotels


Foreign couple: Hi, we'd like a room please.
Receptionist: Very welcoming this way saar. We charge in $$$ by the way. Also, mosquitoes are charged, part of the experience.
Indian couple with children: Hi, we'd like a room please.
Receptionist: You have children so you have the right to judge us.
Indian couple: Hi, we'd like a room please.
Receptionist: Are you married or about to be married?
Indian couple: Uh, yes.
Receptionist: I don't believe you, where is your marriage certificate? The police come and check here every night since they have no time to fight crime.
Indian couple: Screw it, we'll have to suffer staying at relatives.
Indian boy and girl: Hi, we'd like a room please.
Receptionist: YOU ARE TOO YOUNG and don't know what to do! You bring western ideologies filth into my kul-chaar. Arrest them!
Indian boy and girl: Wha?
Receptionist: SILENCE! THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!

Source: Ruthless Reviews
Moral of the story

If we're oppressed by rules, we'll make new ones so that we can oppress for a change.










Interviews


Candidate #1: Hi, I'm LongHaired CreativeType. Here's my impressive resume.
Oldman Interviewer: I don't like him!
Oldwoman Interviewer: He is already rejected.
Oldman Interviewer: Give him a difficult question.
Oldwoman Interviewer: Finish him!
Oldman Interviewer: How many decibels are present between Earth and Indraprastha?
Candidate #1: Sir, I don't think that's related to NotBoringJob, the one I'm applying for. Also, it doesn't make sense.
Oldman Interviewer: GET OUT! Rascal!
Oldwoman Interviewer: Nyext!
Candidate #2: Much Goodmornings Sir and Lady Sir. I'm SidePartitioned HumanMouse. I walked in here accidentally.
Oldman Interviewer: You're hired!


Source: Houston Press
Moral of the story

The old are wise and we should listen to them forever and ever and ever...

6 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. As alive as one can be in Nazi Germany.

      Delete
  2. hi carlin.i like your way of thinking

    ReplyDelete
  3. hi carlin 3 questions for you
    why dont you take stand up comedy as your career?
    what stops you from making stand up comedy as a career?
    when will you quit your job?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anonymous, here are three answers for you.
      1. 'Carlin' is a proper noun and should be capitalised. Mainly with him being my idol.
      2. You said three questions but you seem to have mistaken the number 1 for 3.
      3. I would like to take up Comedy as a full time career, just that I also need to eat three times on a daily basis. Currently Comedy does not let me do that, I can only hope the future isn't so bleak.

      Delete

Type it in human!

Contact me

Name

Email *

Message *