Ra.One : The 3 hour SRK commercial

What it could have been	What it is
The opening scene : Introduction to the technology
Finally an India movie exploring the realms of science fiction or usage of current technology in a unique way. Eg:-Electromagnetism used in Enthiran	A "groundbreaking" and condescending seminar about technology several decades old, told in Hindi to non Indians, in order to minimize cost of INTELLIGENT script writing and maximize viewership of Hindi fanatics.
SRK playing Shekar Subramaniam, A tamil scientist
Finally some acting skills shown as homage to his fans from South India and their legendary intelligence.	SRK taking a messy diarrhoea shit all over Tamil Nadu would've been better than watching the initial pointless 20 minutes of Tamilian SRK inclusive of "Ayyo" "Dosas" "Rascal", bad Tamil, worse acting and a mockery of MJ, Mr.Bean, women to name a few.
SRK’s character
A father who’s juggling work and providing for his family along with trying to earn the respect of his child in the terrible teens.	An annoying dork with pubic hair on his head that just won’t shut the fuck up and needs to be right and loved at all times.
Kareena’s character
An expensive piece of meat men can salivate over and lose other body fluids who’s dialogues don’t contribute to the plot.	An expensive piece of meat men can salivate over and lose other body fluids who’s dialogues don’t contribute to the plot. Also she’s a chammak challo.
SRK's son character
A confused teen who couldn't find a role model in his docile father due to the overbearing image of the badass amongst his peers.	An androgynous organism playing a bollywood Gen-Y stereotype who can't act for shit.
G.One, the superhero
A mission oriented robot with no emotions but is required to understand and emulate human beings.	An aging actor showing no talents :-         Trying to look kewl         Trying to make money         Trying too hard
Death of real SRK, appearance of Robot SRK in family
A take on the psychology of people when they lose a loved one who is later replaced by a machine which has the looks and memories of the loved one. But is that all we look for in another human being or are our emotions deceiving us into accepting an artificial version rather than face the tragedy of the loss?	SRK giving sexual innuendos in hip thrusts and having neon chain mucus pulled out of his nose by Kareena.
Rajnikanth's cameo as Chitti the robot
Homage from one superstar to another	A mind numbingly pointless cameo that makes no sense and is followed by the characters of the movie showing respect to Rajni in an intentionally exaggerated mocking way. SRK borrowing Rajini’s credibility because he has none of his own.
Any other details of the movie : The game, the villain, the plot
Consists of at least moderate intelligence to match up to the budget of the film.	Has nothing to do with logic or script writing budget. Has everything to do with SRK’s hair gel budget.
Summary of the movie
Technology can serve or enslave humanity depending on our choices.	The scene where Attention Whore Khan eats spaghetti and curd with his bare hands. It is a metaphor which demonstrates that:-       He'll do anything disgusting to get your attention.       He'll mix random elements(eccentricity and racism) that end up being bullshit.       The motherfucker thinks he's funny and cute. So PLEASE, kindly go suck his dick right now. He’ll die without your unconditional LOU!