Top 5 awesome trailers to upcoming Hollywood movies

The criteria is as simple as, this list includes only movies that'll be releasing in 2014(will be, not already has). The movie itself might present a disappointment and you'll avoid it like bitcoin, BUT the trailer was awesome. If you don't find your favourite upcoming movie on this list, well, I'm sorry they didn't make an awesome trailer for it. Now quit your whining and let's get to it!

#5: Transformers 4: Age of Extinction

The only thing unique about Michael Bay's 'magnum opus' were the robots fighting each other and incomprehensibly filmed. After Pacific Rim(2013), we had a new movie to see giant robots punching giant monsters in the face. What is Bay going film in between his explosions now? How can he make Optimus Prime look cooler? I know! First get rid of Shia thebeef(AKA Bad acting) and insert a swrod and shield and a giant mudda fugging metal Tyrannosaurus Rex with horns! Also, Megatron finally turns into a gun, finally. Will this movie lack plot, acting, sense and leadership. Who cares? Optimus mofo Prime, with a mofo sword and shield riding a mofo metal T-Rex with horns. (although in the original canon, Grimlock, the leader of the Dinobots is too proud of an asshole to let anyone ride him)




#4: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

The first trailer revealed the dark history behind Peter Parker's father. While the idea was pretty much 'meh' like the previous movie, it was the second trailer labled 'Enemies Unite' that really gave us something to wait for. I wasn't too keen on watching Electro or The Green Goblin(totally rebooted and shit) on screen, but the trailer shows a Spidey fan boi(stalker?) who is disappointed in a way only fan bois can be disappointed. Watch the trailer, the scene when the newly turned Electro realises that Spidey treats him as random citizen #376 is not something that can be easily be showcased in a movie, let alone a trailer. The second awesome thing about this trailer? RHINO! The guy from the comics looks like an inflatable toy, but here, he's a guy in a mech-suit with a friggin horn. I'm sure he's using the horn for important stuff and it wasn't show horned in there to force the nickname. A cookie for those who find a Doc Ock easter egg. Looking forward for the baddies - Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti and some random kid as the new Green Goblin. It's not like there was a sucky Spidey movie stuffed with 3 villains out there. Is there?


#3: Guardians of the Galaxy

I refuse to jump onto the band wagon where people are talking about them being 'ardent fans' of this obscure team of superhero (misfits?) and that Marvel is finally paying tribute. Screw you posers! All I knew was, there was a squirrel in the team. It was a raccoon, voiced by Bradley Cooper. Wait, who? Now I have to check this movie out. Vin Diesel is a tree thing, interesting. Zoe Saldana now plays a GREEN alien, naice. But I was still largely indifferent till I saw the trailer.
The main aspect being the general lackadaisical tone the trailer has along with the ever so catchy 'Hooked on a Feeling' popularised by the iconic 'Ooga-jaaga' chanting, that first tickles you and then gets you pumped up for...Was that friggin' Batista??!! HOLY SHIT! Imma go memorize every bit of Guardians trivia from wikipedia now.


#2: X-Men: Days of Future Past

After the atrocious X-Men 3 and the lukewarm Wolverine, it's about time to give this franchise a rest and bank on the Avengers. Yes? No? Well, then, I guess if you can somehow bring Professor X back from the dead and somehow make a movie with both Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen duo meet up with James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender's pair from the past. Also, bring sentinals into the mix. Can you do that? What? You can make Peter Dinklage play Bolivar Trask, the inventor of the sentinals? That sounds pretty amazing! The only thing remaining is a trailer with emotion, angst and two Professor Xs on screen talking face to face.
In case you didn't get the hint, click on video below and know the difference between a generic trailer and a trailer which uses music, epic lines and correct pacing.



Honourable mentions



Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Apes in war paint, apocalypse, Gary Oldman, and little to no idea of what the plot will explore. Tingles the mind in excitement, especially after watching what they did with the last of this rebooted series(including a Mission to Mars easter egg)




Interstellar

As always, leave it to Chris Nolan to release a trailer which reveals nothing of the movie, keeps people guessing and finally making pay dirt by delivering an awesome movie which we will discuss, commemorate, parody and love unconditionally. Also, Oscar winner, Matthew McConaughey narrating, somehow worked.



#1: GODZILLA

THE KING OF MONSTERS IS BACK in one of the best trailers I've ever seen in recent times. The iconic Inception BWAAA sound comes to play here as we get Brayn Cranston doing his Heisenberg voice about "what's coming". I liked how the trailer showcased the minute detail of nuclear testing in the Pacific(the origin of the fake American Godzilla from that movie) and retold it in a different way, as though subtly giving the last (attempt at) a remake a middle finger. 
The plot isn't revealed much, except that this might be the largest Godzilla onscreen so far and that there are non-Godzilla monsters in this movie. (swoons). What packs the trailer off into epic territory is the montage of death and destruction towards the end, where the crescendo is the Godzilla roar(genius!) and the last shot being a small glimpse of the King himself. I can't wait till May!

My Oscar predictions and why

Image source: Oscar.go.com


Best Picture: 12 Years a Slave

Why? Come on! It'll be controversial to NOT give this movie the Oscar. After going through all the trouble of depicting racism and slavery to it's fullest(by a black director, mind you) America's guilty conscience will have no choice but to give a toothy smile, sweat a lot and hand over the Oscar, under the ever watchful gaze of the Department of Cultural guilt. I'm not saying it's a bad movie, it'll probably affect me more than I could think of when I do watch it. I just hate America for being the richest country via slavery and then being kinda guilty(but not really) now.

***

Best Director: Steve McQueen

Why? The man does have talent in doing a long single take sans the background score and hardly any noise. He makes us focus on the actors and the actors alone and brings out the best in the them for his shot, sometimes without any dialogues as well. That being said, the critics go moist for any movie he makes giving it adjectives such as 'Powerful' and other synonyms. I just hate the critics who react the same way to something by Steve McQueen or any drab indie director making a tedious film. Damn hipsters!

Who I want to win - Alfonso Cuaron: Gravity might not be the perfect movie(troupes such as George Clooney stars as George Clooney) but it is the perfectly directed film. I just feel like an asshole for not liking the movie more. But the Danny Boyle-esque human drama kinda got in the way some of the time(some, not all). Alfonso Cuaron has shown what he can make with the weakest of the Harry Potter saga and he sure has hell made the best use of 3D(AKA the 10% extra cash gimmick). Are they going to Scorsese him and give him an Oscar 30 years from now?

***

Best Actor: Not Leonardo DiCaprio

Why? Like hell if I'd know. Probably he's a descendant of a Nazi party supporting family and none of the elitist Jews who run Hollywood want to give him any form of glory.

***

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett

Why? Watch Blue Jasmine and find out. Simply put, after Emma Thompson's Mrs. PL Travers in Saving Mr.Banks, this is the only other female protagonist I started out not liking at the start but later came to care for. It might just be Woody Allen's script, but it's probably Cate Blanchett.


***

Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto

Why? Jared Leto plays a Transgender woman in the movie Dallas Buyers Club. I haven't even seen the movie and from the trailers alone, I knew this guy hit gold with this performance. Firstly, it didn't look or sound like Jared Leto at all. The last I remember of this guy, he was shirtless and getting his face punched in by Edward Norton. Came a long way, man.

Who I want to win: Jonah Hill - The guy deserves it for his role. He was every bit as integral to the movie as Martin Scorsese and the script. He was funny and serious with his raspy voice and rich fat persona and I'm pretty sure most of his lines were ad libbed, especially the scene at the parking lot where the co-actor's annoyed reaction seemed legit.

***

Best Supporting Actress: I haven't a clue

Who I want to win: Jennifer Lawrence - Who wouldn't want Katniss to win?


***

Best Writing - Original screenplay: American Hustle / Blue Jasmine

Why? Having 'critically acclaimed' directors linked to these movies(David O Russel and Woody Allen respectively) would help their chances. Maybe the Academy wouldn't want to bank on the pedophile suspect Woody Allen and give the award to the absolutely over blown American Hustle. Maybe, they want to show their support to a fellow artist and give Mr. Allen the nod. Then again, those turkey buzzards tend to not be inclined that way.

Who I want to win: Her - Man and computer fall in love, how can such a clichéd sci-fi story with the least exciting sci-fi mundane plot be interesting? Spike Jonze tells us how. While some what a satire on man's over dependence on technology, it also tells a love story which I appreciated. And I don't appreciate love stories, seriously, I don't. Not even James Cameron love stories.

***

Best Writing - Adapted screenplay: 12 Years a Slave

Why? Same reason as before. The movie is adapted from the book written by Solomon Northup and based on the true events of his life. Those cringe worthy scenes are not even fictional real, they're actual events. Giving 12 Years an Oscar would once again be a nod towards the life and hardships of Solomon and the guilt thing

Who I want to win: Wolf of Wall Street - Come on! It was the best script of the year easily. The dialogues are great, the story line is great, the narrative is great, the tone is great and everything is so great! In an interview with script writer Terence Winter who said he wanted to capture the humourous and witty tone with which Jordan Belfort wrote his book. And that he did.

***

Best Sound Editing: Gravity

Why? One of the first things I noticed about Gravity was how the sound was really authentic(read: of poor quality). Then Sandra Bullock's character handles tools in the opening sequence and we hear what she's hearing, ie, the sound which reverberates through her suit and arm. Everything else, the dead silence of space and the occasional crackling of radio with George Clooney or Ed Harris talking.


*** 

Best Sound Mixing: Inside Llewyn Davis

Why? Listening to those songs in the movie made me feel like I'm there, live! As much as that sounds like a hackney film critic, it is also the truth. While you can choose to snooze during the songs, I felt they were the best parts of an otherwise tedious indie movie. Fine, well made tedious indie movie. Case in point, the last few minutes of the movie had a quartet perform at a café. They sounded more real than reality. Moments later, a gawky youth walks on stage with a guitar and harmonica. I failed to notice this moment, but when started singing I was like "Bob Dylan! That's Bob Dylan!". Recognition via sound alone shows something.
***

Best Production Design: American Hustle

Why? As I said before, it's an overblown movie that is still good. Since there are no dramas set in the Elizabethan era(or Eye-raq) this year, the Academy would have no choice but to give the award to the movie that closely resembles a period piece.

Who I want to win: Gravity - Apparently the tools and equipment used in the movie are the latest as per the testimony of an astronaut. Yes, I read that somewhere off the internet. No, I don't remember where it was. Yes, I think Gravity deserves an award more than American Hustle.


***

Best Cinematography: Gravity

Why? Dude, have you even seen the movie?
 
***
Best Makeup and Hairstyling : Dallas Buyers Club
Why? Have you seen Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto in the movie? Also, they're against movies like Jackass (yeah right the elitists will pick that one) and the insufferably bad Lone Ranger.
Who I want to win: Jackass presents Bad Grandpa - The entire movie premise is about a guy wearing Grandpa make up and pranking people without a script. It's not like a movie where there is already a suspension of disbelief since it's on the silver screen. In this case the makeup ACTUALLY has to fool people in real life from a few feet away. If the Academy were a bunch of cool people(like acknowledging The Dark Knight), they'd give it to this well deserving movie.
***

Best Costume design: 12 Years a Slave

Why? Arbitrary guess. Unless they want to make China feel represented in which case it would be the Grandmaster. Or they can have a chance here to commemorate a proper 'drama' and give it to The Invisible Woman. I don't really care.
***

Best Film Editing: Gravity

Why? DUDE! HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE? Just go to YouTube and search for 'Gravity Tracking shot'.

***

Best Visual Effects: Gravity

Why? Is there anything in the movie that is real other than the actors? It seemed like the entire movie was made with green screen(kinda like the Star Wars prequels) and filled with breath taking visuals(kinda like the Star Wars prequels) and made us hooked for the entire duration of the movie without questioning the movie (completely unlike the Star Wars prequels). Also, why isn't Pacific Rim in this list? WTF elitists?!
Who I want to win: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - BEST. DRAGON. EVER.

 

Dear Crazy Aunty, why you no let me marry daughter?


GF's Crazy Mom; as she appeared in Godzilla vs Space Godzilla(1994)
Image courtesy Wikizilla

Being Indians, we've all had our love stories, here's the tale of how my Girlfriend was promoted to something greater and how my life changed forever.

The setting


Me: Mom, Dad, I love this girl.
Mom: NO!
Me: But why...
Dad: Lower caste, NO!
Me: But I...
Both: NO!
Me: ....okay....

Several months later,
Me: Mom...
Mom: NO!
Me: Fine! I shall go to her house directly and ask her Dad for her hand in marriage.
Mom: Yeah right!

The Intros


Me: Lovelorn boyfriend and seeker of marriage. In want of the girl who will understand my eccentricities...oh, wait, I'm not rich...my insanity and my inability to take a bath. I'm like, so dark and brooding and misunderstood.
Batman: Ahem!
Me: Moving along.
GF: Exasperated girlfriend and uber-seeker of marriage. I want a guy who won't ask me for my gmail and Facebook password and will not ask me to quit my job. Why won't his parents accept me?
Uncle: Boy's best friend's Dad and negotiator extraordinaire. I'm just helping out as it's more interesting than my day job.
Army Sir: GF's Dad and traveler of the world. I want the best for my daughter and I won't force anything upon her.
Crazy Mother: GF's Mom and sentimental psycho. She can't do this! What'll people think?

Let's get to it!

At GF's house one fine Sunday...
Me: SURPRISE!
Uncle: We come in peace.
Crazy Mother: OH SHIT!...(runs away)...
Me: Oooo...kaaay...I guess they didn't expect it?
Army Sir: Hello young man! Hello Sir! Please, do come in!
Army Sir: So, how about some Tea and small talk?
Uncle: Great.

12 minutes later...
Me: Well, we've exhausted every topic in the world.
Me: Thank god tea is here!
Crazy Mother: Why! Why! Why do you pursue my daughter?...(twitch) (twitch) ..
Me: Say wha?
Crazy Mother: If you turn a blind eye, we can all play happily...forever...and ever...and ever....
Me: Thanks...for...the tea...heh...
Army Sir: Is the tea too hot for you?
Crazy Mother: HAH! He can't even drink hot tea! What'll people think?
Me: Actually, I'm just petrified.
Army Sir: So then, let's get down to business.
Me: Let me elucidate as to why I'm awesome for your daughter. Point number one, I've started saving up for the security deposit of a flat to rent out in Bangalore. Point number two...

45 minutes later...
Me:...and that's how I split the atom.
Army Sir: Impressive!
Crazy Mother: I wake up at 2AM in the mourning to pray in the pooja room.
Me: You're still here? I mean...uh...how's that related to anything?
Uncle: His parents won't agree to the marriage.
Crazy Mother: What'll people think?
Me: A wedding is a one day event. A marriage is a lifetime choice....

37 minutes later...
Me:...and that is why I choose to be with your daughter.
Crazy Mother: Why can't you two just be friends?
Me: MOTHER FU...
Uncle: I think it'll be better if we ask her opinion. Where is she?
GF: Hi!
Crazy Mother: GO BACK INSIDE THIS INSTANT!
GF: Bye!
Uncle: What do you think Sir?
Army Sir: I think this young man is is pretty adept. He does make quite good points.

FLASHBACK

Me: I work in IT.
Army Sir: Splendid!
Me: In Bangalore.
Army Sir: Marvelous!

END FLASHBACK

Crazy Mother: But what'll people think?
Army Sir: You too raise valid points honey.
Me: Clearly the military didn't issue the pants you needed to wear at home.
Uncle: But what do you wish for, dear?
GF: I wish to marry him...
Me: YAY!
GF: ...but...
Me: Wait, wha? 'But'? Anything that came before a 'but' is now negated!
Crazy Mother: Tell them you will listen to us and marry the guy we pick for you!
GF: ...
Uncle: Girls these days, they get a taste of the outside world and they can't have enough of it.
Crazy Mother: I don't like it! I liked the old way when the women worked in the kitchen.
Me: Did she just set women back a couple of decades?
Uncle: What will your opinion be if she wants to marry him?
Army Sir: I guess I'll have to look after the happiness of my daughter.
Crazy Mother: But. What. Will. People. Think. Question. Mark.
Army Sir: You raise a valid point honey.
Crazy Mother: Tell them, tell them you worry about what people think. Tell them that you want nothing more than our happiness, tell them how people will gossip about you if you don't listen to us.
Uncle: I feel you're trying to force your opinions on her madam.
Crazy Mother: She's just a kid!
Me: Who oddly must be married off right away.
Uncle: Well, I'll give you folks time to decide, we're off. Think well before making your decision dear.
Me: Finally...I mean, goodbye.

Denouement


1 hour later...
Uncle: That went well. Good that we came.
Me: At least now the decision lies on her and not psycho serial prayer Mom.
My Phone: Buzz! Buzz!
Me: Hello?
GF: I decided to marry the guy who my parents pick for me, bye.
Me: MOTHER FU...

And that kids, is the true story of how the GF became the Ex-GF and married some guy within a month, while I got back into blogging, traveled to Vietnam with the money saved and became a Stand up comedian. Happy endings anyone?

Epilogue

Fraand: Dude, your Ex-GF had called. Asking me to tell you to not send her emails or Facebook messages.
Me: Why would she tell you that?
Fraand: Her husband has her Email and Facebook passwords.
Me: POETIC JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCEEEEEEEE!!!

Fin


This post is written for Indiblogger Cadbury Five Star contest - Condition Serious Hai. Go here and like the page if you think Crazy Mom's condition was serious.

A brusque history of Andhra Pradesh and Telangana


Images courtesy Wikipedia

Long ago, before pepper spray was invented...

5th century AD, near the Krishna river...
Vishnukundina king: So Telugu is henceforth our official language.
People: Telugu, got it!
Vishnukundina king: Now don't go fighting with others over that fact, okay?
People: How can we? We're predominantly Buddhists.
Ghost of Gauthama Buddha past: Make nirvana, not war. (smokes weed)
Vishnukundina king: Fair point, anything else needs to be changed?
People: How about the stupid name of your dynasty?
Vishnukundina king: What?
People: What?

14th century AD, Telangana and Rayalaseema regions...
Tuglaq dynasty: Wazza bitches!
Rayalaseema People: Whoa! You guys are like, totally changing our dialect and shit. We can't...
Telenganites: Wait, with all the Persian influences, we talk different from you folks near the costal regions.
Coastal folks: 'Talk differently'.
Rayalaseema People: Can we kill them?
Tuglaq dynasty: Invasions are always fun!

17th century AD, Deccan plains...
Aurangzeb: They sure are!
People: Oh my god! They killed Telugu!
Costal folks: You bastards!
People: Let's put our dialects aside and join forces to vanquish...
Aurangzeb: Biriyani anyone?
Biriyani: (looks delicious)
People: HELL YEAH!
Paradise hotel: Let's patent this sonuvabitch!

18th century AD, Hyderabad...
Nizam of Hyderabad: Well, Mughal Inc. is done for. What now? How will we obtain the required financial resources to go on frivolous hunting trips and pose sideways for portraits now?
East India Company: Perhaps we could be of some assistance, chaps. Would you mind renting out this little stretch of land here?
Nizam of Hyderabad: Sold! Don't be late on your rent.
East India Company: Jolly good! Anything else while we're here?
Nizam of Hyderabad: You mind keeping these barbarians out of our hunting grounds?
Hyder Ali: Watcha gonna go brother? When these rockets run wild on you?
Peshwa of Maratha Empire: Let me at em! Let me at em! Hinduuuuu
poweeeerr!
Nizam's older brother: Hey bro! Let me in. I won't rip your head off and claim Dad's throne. I promise! (crosses fingers)
East India Company: You savages make it too easy!

19th century AD, England...
Queen: I now declare these areas of this map, the Madras Presidency. Roll call. Rayalaseema?
Rayalaseema People: Here!
Queen: Coastal Andhra regions?
Coastal folks: Here!
Queen: Anyone who talks Tamil?
Modern day(but not really) Tamil Nadu: Here!
Queen: Malabar Kerala?
Malayalis: As long as no one calls us Madarasis two hundred years from now...I mean, here!
Nizam of Hyderabad: Please do take care of my lands, regards, the World's Richest man, the owner of a mere 2% of planet's GDP, a real...
Queen: Silence puppet!
Nizam of Hyderabad: Yes ma'am!

20th century AD, Indian Independence struggle...
Nehru: We're free! We're free!
Gandhiji: Ram ram (dead).
Nizam of Hyderabad: I get to keep my place. Nyah nyah nyah!
Nehru: You're surrounded by India on all sides.
Nizam of Hyderabad: Well, I still get to keep my place. Nyah nyah nyah!
Nehru: Let me rephrase, you're surrounded by Indian TROOPS on all sides.
Nizam of Hyderabad: I still get to...okay, you win.

1952-53 AD, India...
Potti Sreeramulu: In the interest of the Telugu people, the Telugu culture and the overall Teluguness of things, I demand a separate state for Telugu people.
Nehru: WTF DUDE! We're India now. Why're you trying to break us apart especially after we just broke apart.
Jinnah: Woo! Look at all these fertile lands Gandhi gave me!
Potti Sreeramulu: No dice! Telugu land now or I diet till death.
Nehru: Why you no listen man? We were Salt Satyagraha buddies and everything.
Potti Sreeramulu: Not. Swallowing. Anything.
Nehru: Fine! See if I care, you wanted Madras as your capital. The city is outside of your territory genius.
Potti Sreeramulu: (dead)
Nehru: .......fuck!
People: Oh-Em-GEE! We're so affected by this, we're gonna break stuff!
Nehru: FINE! Every language gets states. Rayalaseema, Coastal regions, you shall henceforth be Andhra state. Now STFU and be Telugu to your heart's content.

1956 AD, Hyderabad...
Hyderabad: Hey guys, can I also play?
Andhra state: Dude, do you even Telugu?
Hyderabad: For tots guys, for tots!
Andhra state: Yeah, we'll take just that part I guess.
Hyderabad: YAY! But what of the left overs?
Telangana: Wait, what?
Andhra State Pradesh: Give the non-Telugu scraps to them.
Karnataka: I feel like we're getting a shitty deal here.
Maharashtra: Chillax dude, at least we ain't East Pakistan.
Not yet Bangladesh: I hate everyone so much!

1969 AD, Andhra Pradesh...
Telangana: Um, guys...could we...get some water?
Andhra Pradesh: Shhh! We're watching Aradhana...ahem...in Telugu subtitles.

1985 AD, Andhra Pradesh...
Telengana: Okay, this sucks. Can you please...stop hogging all the water?
Andhra Pradesh: zzzzzzz....

2004 AD, Andhra Pradesh...
Telangana: SCREW THIS SHIT! We want our own room and Hyderabad!

2009 AD, India...
Government: Hmmm, 42 seats? Yeah, I guess.
Telangana: Woo hoo!
Andhra Pradesh: Whoa whoa whoa, not woo hoo!

2013 AD, some IT company...
Andhrite: You know, these Telangana people are only good for eating and fucking. Hyderabad is our baby. Why should we give it to them?
Skeptic: Are you sure?
Andhrite: YOU BLASPHEME! You're a supporter of the anti-christ Kejriwal, aren't you.
Skeptic: Anarchist.
Andhrite: I won't hand over Hyderabad to you or Telangana. It has IMax!
Skeptic: (sigh)

2014 AD, Delhi...
Government: So Telangana's happening y'all.
Pepper spray Gopal: Over my can's dead nozzle!
Skeptic: (deeper sigh)

2020 AD, some other IT company...
APJ: Why isn't India a super power yet?
Cyberabadite: You know, these Secunderabad people are only good for eating and fucking.
Skeptic: (deepest sigh)


Fin

Top 5 less popular Hollywood actors that need our love

The recent death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman made me realize how little people know of him, if at all. Although I'm not in support of a man with 3 kids who ODed on heroine, I did like the actor he was and more importantly, his characters. It got me thinking, there are so many actors out there who appear on screen and it's obvious that actor playing that character. Case in point, Nicolas Cage for ANY role he plays looks like Nicolas Cage pretending to be someone else.
Then there are the character actors who get into the skin of their roles, making a fictional person seem more real than most people we meet. Think Johnny Depp, you wouldn't recognize him if you met him in real life barring the looks. The Oscar has evaded him as many times as Leo DiCaprio.
But you've atleast heard of these people. What of the talented actors who are hardly known and even hardly cheered for? Not everyone can be an A-lister like Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Barack Obama. Most of them are "That-dude-who-played-that-dude-disguised-as-another-dude".
This is a list of those actors who've done so much in their career creating a vast array of characters, that they deserve our respect, but we're too busy checking out the latest phones online. They've been ignored by awards and the public at large since they've been doing small roles to acting in otherwise bad movies. This list is completely biased and you can add in the comments section if there's a Hollywood actor out there who needs our love. This is the list of...

Top 5 less popular Hollywood actors that need our love


#5 : Robert Pattinson

Image courtesy Wikipedia, since I didn't want to Google this asshole's name
Just kidding! Fuck this guy!


#5 : It's a tie - Ewan McGregor


For those who watch movies, you may know him as the guy from the new (horrendous)Star Wars trilogy. For those who love movies, you will know him as the heroine addict, Renton from Trainspotting. Ignoring the much hated prequel trilogy as a younger Obi Wan Kenobi, McGregor has portrayed a Southern naive young man  in Tim Burton's Big Fish(2003) as well as Jim Carrey's love interest(yes, love interest) in I Love You Phillip Norris(2009).
I like him personally since he's an avid motorcycle traveler, having traveled from his native country of England to USA via Russia(aka, the long route) all the while helping UNICEF in the countries he crossed. Why aren't the ladies swooning over Mr. NiceGregor yet?
Ewan McGregor is the definition of non-eccentric theater actor who keeps getting small and insignificant roles in mediocre movies. He needs a pat on the back and some oil for his bike.
Recommended watch: Trainspotting, I love You Phillip Norris, The Ghost Writer, Big Fish, The Men Who Stare at Goats
Not recommended: The Star Wars prequel trilogy


#5 : It's a tie - Idris Elba

I didn't add Idris Elba to not seem racist. He'd completely slipped my mind till I saw Pacific Rim(2013) once again in theaters. Apart from the awesomeness of giant robots punching giant monsters in the face, I noticed that the best parts of the movie were the scenes with this man.
I would think that you can make any movie awesome by putting in Idris Elba. Take Prometheus(2012) for instance. The set design and production was amazing but the story was convoluted at best(screenplay vomit at worst). The filler scenes which happens so that we can digest(regurgitate) the plot, weren't boring due to the his character of Captain Janek. You might think I'm giving him far too much credit and you would be wrong.
I'm not a huge fan of the (obligatory)Thor movies(2011, 2013), but apart from Sir Anthony Hopkins and the delightful Tom Hiddleston, only Elba stands out as non interchangeable character
Sadly, despite being a competent actor who can play both menacing as well as compassionate, Elba needs to get more roles to show off his acting chops. Let's give him a thumbs up for his talent and one more for that moustache.
Recommended watch: The Thor movies, RocknRolla, Pacific Rim, Mandela: The Walk to Freedom
Not recommended: Prometheus, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence


#4 : Bryan Cranston


Why is the much beloved Heisenberg on this list? Hasn't he been getting enough attention now that Breaking Bad ended? Well, you may be surprised to know how this man appears in almost every movie in smaller roles. Except for Little Miss Sunshine(2006) and Argo(2012), you'd have hardly noticed him in Saving Private Ryan(1998), The Lincoln Lawyer(2011), Contagion(2011), Rock of All Ages(2012) among many other movies. 
But what really made me impressed with Walter White is his resume on voice acting in a whole lot of different characters - Vitaly the Russian tiger in Madagascar 3, Slizzard the nasal voiced villain in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, James Gordon in Batman: Year One and several characters in The Simpsons and other animated shows. He even played the voice of Ram in Ramayan: The Legend of Prince Pam in the English dub.
Best part? He'll be in the upcoming Godzilla remake as well as having a role in the next Kung Fu Panda. After all, he is the one who knocks. Give this great man a hug!
Recommended watch: Argo, The Lincoln Lawyer, Little Miss Sunshine
Not recommended: Slizzard episode in Power Rangers, Total Recall, John Carter, Drive. (Just checkout YouTube for those clips.)

#3 : Edward Norton

Poor Eddy! He was nominated for a Best Supporting Oscar on his debut role as a molested and later murderous alter boy with multiple personality disorder. He lost to Cuba Gooding Jr's portrayal in Jerry McGuire(1996). He was once again nominated for his role in American History X(1998) as a racist skin head. This time he lost to Roberto Begnini and his 20 cups of coffee. While the elitist buffoons failed to acknowledge him, we'll forever remember the menacing "There never was an Aaron, Counsellor" and Derek Vinyard's eerie smirk while being arrested for brutally murdering a black man in cold blood just minutes ago.
Most people recognize him as the Narrator from Fight Club(1999). He made us empathetic towards the everyman as much as he did for the neo-Nazi and a murder suspect. He's an example of someone who looks similar in every role but is entirely a different person.
Let us pray to the movie gods to bestow upon this poor talented man, better roles and better opportunities to shine, which has evaded him as much as he has evaded the limelight.
Recommended watch: Primal Fear, The People vs. Larry Flynt, American History X, Fight Club, The Italian Job, Moonrise Kingdom and a 10 second cameo in The Dictator.
Not recommended: Kingdom of Heaven, The Illusionist, The Incredible Hulk, The Painted Veil


#2 : Guy Pearce

Easily my favourite actor in the list for several reasons. He's good looking, talented and has done a variety of roles and people hardly know him other than Memento(2000). Granted, that is one of the best movies of all time, it still didn't showcase Pearce for what he fully is.
Hardly anyone knows his role as an annoying drag queen in the little known Australian comedy The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert(1994). While he was floating along playing minor roles and (far)side characters in landmark movie L.A. Confidential(1997) and The King's Speech(2010), no one bothered to notice this man changing physically and mentally for each role.
I was watching a neigh unheard of movie Lockout(2012) on TV when I noticed that the acerbic bulked up protagonist looked remarkably similar to a bulked up Guy Pearce. Only when the credits rolled(yes, I saw the whole thing) did I know that I was looking at Guy Pearce, the only saving grace of a drab and clichéd sci-fi film.
He was equally witty and charming as the villain in Iron Man 3(2013), a role I felt mirrored the already witty and charming Robert Downey Jr. But far from the onscreen and internet sensation that is Robert Downey, Pearce remains in the shadows of greater actors and bad movies.
How about we invite Guy Pearce for nice dinner and ask him why he doesn't believe in god?
Recommended watch: The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, L.A. Confidential, Memento, The Proposition, The King's Speech, Lockout(Just for his role), Lawless and Iron Man 3
Not recommended: Ravenous, The Time Machine, The Count of Monte Cristo, Prometheus


#1 : Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman is the cinematic chameleon that people hardly notice, with just a single Oscar nomination. Watch the above video, he's played a Wanna-be Jamaican pimp, JFK's assassin, a comical bad guy in the Fifth Element with a southern accent, the menacing badguy in Leon: The Professional, unrecognizable as Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols, a witty gay poet,  Dracula and of course, the most realistic Commissioner James Gordon this side of trimmed moustaches.
Watch the video above and you'll know what I mean.
This is all apart from the fact that he did the voices as the villain in Quest for Camelot and Kung Fu Panda 2.
No one has been proficient enough playing the bad guy while being a good actor. Gary Oldman deserves a standing ovation for being the most unsung hero after Mr. Hoffman's passing.
And you thought he only played Sirius Black.
Recommended watch: Sid and Nancy, Prick Up Your Ears, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, JFK, Bram Stoker's Dracula, True Romance, Léon: The Professional, The Fifth Element, Air Force One, Quest for Camelot, Dark Knight trilogy, Kung Fu Panda 2, Harry Potter series.
Not recommended: Lost in Space,  A Christmas Carol, Planet 51, The Book of Eli and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
 

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