Valentine’s Day : Tips and Tricks

People in love:-

WRONG : Read a cute love forward and think about that special someone

RIGHT : Delete cute love forward without reading and go twitter or something


WRONG : Day dream about the person

RIGHT : Day dream about the person IN BED


WRONG : Listen to Backstreet boys

RIGHT : Go to Bangalore later this month and DIE!


WRONG : Care for that special someone more than anything else

RIGHT : Pretend to care for that someone till your infatuation ends


WRONG : Breathing normal

RIGHT : Choke yourself



Confused people:-

WRONG : Give a rose to that special person

RIGHT : Give a rose to several people and make sure they don't meet


WRONG : Try to decide if you're straight or gay

RIGHT : Kill yourself


WRONG : Think of buying a Hallmark/Archies card

RIGHT : Go give lotsa money to Hallmark/Archies to chop down trees - same result


WRONG : Figure out how many flowers to buy

RIGHT : Figure out how many people to give


WRONG : Flowers or candy?

RIGHT : Beer



Already in a relation:-

WRONG : Do something different

RIGHT : Do something ABSOLUTELY different, like breaking up. Or better yet, killing each other!


WRONG : Celebrate this day by rekindling your relationship

RIGHT : Don't give a damn what day it is



After Rejection:-

WRONG : Cry in front of her/him

RIGHT : Go home and cry to Mom. She loves you more anyways.


WRONG : Throw stones at her/him

RIGHT : Throw grenades at her/him. Kills them and eliminates identifiable body tissue - 2 birds with 1 stone.


WRONG : Throw the flower and walk away.

RIGHT : Stab the person in the eye with the flower's stalk and walk away


WRONG : Start drinking, drugs and all bad habits

RIGHT : Declare Feb 15th as 'Rebound Day' and keep trying till they give in



And don't forget to have a wonderful Valentine's day where lots and lots of blood is spilled. Also remember that this day is absolutely useless and you are just fuelling large corporates in the name of emo mind games J



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