How to alter the human race in 9 easy steps

All you need are : A piece of A4 paper, a pen, a genetic engineering lab, connections in the media

Step 1 : Create an air borne virus that causes female/male infertility (depending on your outlook of life).
Step 2 : Create an antidote which will neutralise the effects of the above virus for a short period of time. Do not proceed to step 3 until Step 2 is complete.
Step 3 : Spread the virus globally without the consent or knowledge of the world's population.
Step 4 : Cause mass media panic and hype about the virus by calling it 'Divine Intervention' or 'God's judgement' or something like that. Everyone will believe it.
Step 5 : Announce the discovery of the antidote months after the 'epidemic' but also state the great expense and how rare the raw materials and creation process are.
Step 6 : Make sure the original list of raw materials and creation process are not leaked onto the internet by some attention seeking bastards
Step 7 : Set the price of the antidote to such a value that only a family above the poverty line can afford it.
Step 8 : A couple must undergo background checks before being given the antidote.
Step 9 : Keep track of records such that a couple can receive the antidote once and must be administered within a guarded facility.

·         Poverty will cease to exist since poor people can’t have children anymore
·         The problem of over population will be solved since a family can have only 2 children, and thus the strain on earth’s limited resources will be lessened
·         Unwanted pregnancies are a thing of the past
·         Lesser populous means more resources available, leading to less tension among neighbouring nations over common natural resources.
·         Less people in public transport, tickets are made further available
·         Lesser crowds in public places, leading to decreased probability of pick pocketing or molestation.
·         Background checks ensure that people who are not capable or unfit to raise children in a healthy environment will not leave a legacy
·         Less people mean less naturally occurring green house gases like CO2 and methane
·         Deadly genetic diseases, both physical and mental will eventually be wiped out
·         Though several families will die out, since everyone dies a natural death, the method is humanitarian

·         Entire African nations will eventually die out due to lack of funds for antidote
·         With elimination of most poor people, nations will lose most people for their manual labour thus leading to a complete stop in functionality. In order to keep on functioning, employers will have to pay their manual labourers more wages, this will be disputed by most private organisations.
·         Third world nations will less funds will be increasingly paranoid about richer countries gaining the upper hand and will protest, first diplomatically and then threatening war in a last ditch effort. This will lead to a worldwide cold war condition.
·         The richer part of society, ie, the top 1% will maintain a larger control of society via capitalism since unions and workers no longer exist.
·         Corruption will lead to the antidote being leaked to the hands of politicians or crime organizations. This will be later sold to the black market.
·         Once leaked, variations of the antidote or the virus might be created which might have adverse effects on people.
·         There may be pockets of civilization unaffected by the virus, such regions will become hotspots of violence due to the aggressive nature of the frustrated neighbouring parts.

CONCLUSION : Despite discussing a phenomenon that can alter the course of the entire human race(most probably towards annihilation), the issue of Software engineers never came into the equation. They are neither part of the method nor the consequences in any remote way. It is therefore concluded that software engineers, with their overall abundance and uselessness serve to be the least significant creature on Earth. GO DIE!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Type it in human!

Contact me


Email *

Message *