Avatar 4D

This weekend I was returning to Chennai from Kerala in those buses where they can play movies. Sitting next to me was possibly the grumpiest guy in all buses travelling to Chennai that day. On his lap, was his son(or kidnapped child) who was exceedingly hyper. As I wondered how this could be more amusing, they started playing a movie – AVATAR!
You all have seen Avatar 3D and complain how Avatar 2D can't compare to that.
As for my case, this kid started talking to me out of the blue(pun intended) and that extra element was the reason I was able to watch...


NOTE : Blue font = thought

SCENE : Jake Sully's mind goes into his avatar body for the first time through that colourful tunnel thingy.
Kid : How did he transfer?
Dad : Grrmmmff <shrugs>
Kid : <looks at me> How did he transfer?
Me : <waving hands around slowly> Maaaaagiiiiiic!
Kid : Is it Bluetooth?
Me :................

SCENE : Jake runs for the first time in his Avatar body
Kid : Why is he blue?
Me : Because of bluetooth!
Kid : .......<looks at dad> Why is he blue?
Me : ....... [Oh! So you just know about bluetooth huh? I just wasted my spontaneous humour on you dammit!]
Dad : Grrrmmmfff <nods at screen>
Kid : <looks at me> Why is he blue?
Me : [I know a guy from Ghajini with a memory like yours] Because uh....cause...
Jake : <takes bite out of juicy purple Na'vi fruit> Oooh hoho!
Me : ...cause...they eat THAT!
Kid : ........<eyes widen> Reallyyyyy?
Me : <eyes widen> Yeaaaaah!
Kid : Papa! Pa paaaaaa! Fruit! FROOOOOOOT!
Dad : HRRMM <looks at me>
Me : <innocent look> Hmmmm! [MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Come on Dad, buy him the froot!]

SCENE : Jake first learns to ride the Na'vi horse
Kid : BEN 10!
Me : ???????
Kid (to me) : Ben 10!
Me : Eh???????
Kid : That is Ben 10! You know Ben 10!
Me : Aaa..ha [Was that a question?]
Kid : Beeeen teeeeeen! 6 legs and trunk! You know!
Me : ....... [I know Ben10 is one the most stupid cartoon ever]...That's a horse. You know!
Kid : Ben 10! BEN 10! BEEEEN TEEEEEN!
Dad : Hrrrrmmff! <looks at me>
Me : Fine fine! Ben 10!
Kid : BEN 10!
Me : <sigh>

SCENE : Jake's first flight on that flying thingy
Kid : Woooooow! Dinosaur!
Me : No no no! That's not a dinosaur, that's a dragon!
Kid : Dragon?
Me : Dragon!
Kid : Nooooooooo! Dragon will spit fire. Foooooooo!
Me : Umm...that....that is...uh....BIG Dragon!
Kid : Big dragon?
Me : Big dragon can ..uh...spit fire. Small dragon <points at screen> no fire.
Kid : Okay! So who is dinosaur?
Me : Dinosaur? Dinosaur...dinosaur dead...ulk <sticks tongue out, rolls eyes and tilts head>
Kid : OH NOOOO! Who killed dinosaur?
Me : ....EH? [WTF! What goes through this kid's mind?].....That...hmmmm...
Kid : <looks on in interest>
Me : ....that is...sheh.....HITLER!
Kid : Hit ler?
Me : Yaaaaa! Hitler killed dinosaur.
Dad : Hrrrmmff???
Me : <innocent look> Hmmmm! [MUAHAHAHAHAAAA! Should've told him about Hitler]
Kid : Hitler....hitler hitler....

SCENE : When Jake and Neytiri get 'intimate'
Kid : CHEEEEEEE! Don't look! <ducks head behind front seat>
Me : <controlling laughter> OK! <ducks head behind front seat and bangs head on handle thing> OW!
Kid : <whispers> Is it safe?
Me : [Not sure, didn't see them use condoms] <whispers> I think so!
Kid : <looks at screen> It's safe.
Me : [You already know about bluetooth but you don't know about porn?]

SCENE : Jake is making that inspiring speech to everyone
Jake : We'll give them a message....that this.....THIS IS OUR LAND!
Kid : YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! <fist in the air>
Fellow passengers : [How cute! What a cute energetic kid. He'll probably become a great engineer or doctor. His parents must be so proud]
Me : YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! <fist in the air>
My fist : <slams into window frame>
Me : [SONUVABEECH! That hurt!]
Fellow passengers : [What a hooligan! Does he not have parents? He was probably kicked out of his house for doing drugs and having a goatee]

SCENE : Last scene when Jake is permanently being trasfered to his avatar body
Kid : .........<awed look>
Me : <Waiting for reaction>
Jake : <opens eyes>
Screen : AVATAR
Kid : AVATAAAAAAR! <hands in the air>
Me : AVATAAAAAR! <hands in the air>
Right hand : <slams into window frame>
Me : ARGH! [DAMMIT! You again you ***** ******** piece of ******** metal ******]
Fellow passangers : <gives me the look>
Me : ……….. [Screw you all!]

PS : Unless you watch Ben10 or Bheem Bheem Bheem Chotta Bheem Chotta Bheem, you ALREADY belong to the NEXT generation, as demostrated here. And they already know about bluetooth!


  1. Lolzz....It was very interesting that i bookmarked it y'day as i was rushing to work...Completed reading it today...cool one dude...

  2. Wow that was an awesome read..especially the Hitler part..ROFl...


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