Cavalcade of Corporate Comedy

cav-al-cade [kav-uh l-keyd, kav-uh l-keyd]
any noteworthy series, as of events or activities.

cor-po-rate [kawr-per-it, -prit]
of, for, or belonging to a corporation or corporations

com-e-dy [kom-i-dee]
any comic or humorous incident or series of incidents.

Question : Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chicken : <looks left and right>......<crosses the road>
Boss : Well?
Chicken : Well Boss, I noted my average speed when crossing, wind velocity, ambient temperature and atmospheric pressure.
Boss : <shakes head>....You always know how to disappoint me don't you?
Chicken : I....uh...what...did you...I....
Boss : Did you note down the density of the road you crossed on?
Chicken : I...uh...I...I counted the number of vehicles that went by as I crossed.
Boss : Vehicles? What do you mean vehicles, man? What about number of 2, 3, 4 and 5 wheelers? Did you count those separately? Inclusive of their individual registration numbers?
Chicken : .......
Boss : I also wanted the stock value of Abhishek Bachchan at the point of time you crossed.
Chicken : ...........Wha...?
Boss : And most importantly, how could you miss taking down the population of the green horned lizards of Botswana in 1979?
Chicken : wasn't even formed by 1979...
Boss : This is why you never even come up to my expectations, al-WAYS giving excuses.
Chicken : .........
Boss : Do this now, you somehow get all the data I want and document them. About 713 excels with 4 sheets each, 9031 word documents and maybe 94 PPTs would do. And map and update these to ALL our documentation on our project since 408BC till 3000 years into the future.
Chicken : .....But...
Boss : Still giving excuses huh?
Chicken : ..............
Answer : Because it was part of requirements.

Code Man and the Masters of the Software
Shekar : Hari! Come quick! Defect Skeletor is ruining our chances of a successful release tomorrow.
Hari : Skeletor and his errors of evil MUST be stopped <takes out pen> By the power of GRAYSKULL!
Lightning : <flash>
Castle Grayskull : <flash>
Pen : <turns into sword>
Background music : CODE MAN!.....Code Man and the Masters of the Software!

Things you won't hear #1
Jabri : I'm a Rindo this google wooooorld!

Things you won't hear #2
NRN : I'm glad all 12 of you have come my disciples. Tonight, one of you will betray me to the Roman Empire.
Author dude : But there's a total of 7 people here.

Things you won't hear #3
Techie : I'm so happy!

Sex Ed for Software Engineers : Episode One
Sashi Taroor : Hi! This is your youth icon Sashi, here to tell all you software engineers about the wonders of Sex. Lesson one : Buying a good Porn CD.


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