My not-so-generic love story

After reading all the love stories out there, I thought I should tell about a different incident from the guy’s perspective. Of course it is involving an idiot guy and a cute girl next door. The idiot guy being me and the cute girl next door being……

Bhojanapriya ©
Coming back from school I tried to look over my neighbour’s gate to steal a peek at her. Unfortunately my short stature didn’t help me look over the 4 foot gate! DAMN! Now I’m gonna have to wait till evening when her rich dad opens their expensive gate.

With the magic of time manipulation and crappy narration, it is already evening. So her dad opens the gate and there she was. To welcome her presence the crickets were chirping, the sun was shining, the flowers were blossoming, there was a soft breeze gently brushing against my face, the trees were doing whatever trees do, the butterflies were fluttering by, the ants were biting at my feet, cars were honking and a lot of angry people were shouting. Wait! What was I talking about? Oh right! The girl! As I slowly walked towards her gate from the middle of the road, the drivers passed insulting every one of my living and dead ancestor.

This is the point of the story where I describe her I guess. Her hair looked something like a crow’s nest, in fact I think a crow was nesting there. I was never able to make out her eyes since they were behind the thickest pair of glasses I have ever seen. Her nose was so pointed, she could’ve had a mosquito as a parent(or maybe she was genetically engineered, I dunno). I could catch occasional glimpses of her rosy lips underneath her moustache. Her skin was just like those gals in the commercials, with enough oil there for USA to declare that her nose is hiding weapons of mass destruction.

As I stood there admiring her beauty, I could hear the music slowly playing behind me, “Aankhon mein teri”. Actually, Om Shanthi Om wasn’t released at that time but I’m narrating so NYAH! All the while I’m walking in slow motion thus enabling me to say all this while still not reaching her.

Just then I noticed the cute puppy in her arms, Pingy or Tingy or something she called it.  Poor lil Chingy was cuddling in her arms out of fear from the fierce outside world. Suddenly a driver passing by insulted me, “you piece of ” and lil Dinky jumped from her arms and ran towards me out of fear. Simultaneously, I happened to trip on a rather large stone lying right in the middle of the road, what can I say? Indian roads! As I stumble forward, Jingy comes to a complete stop watching in amusement as I try to regain my balance. But I didn’t, and I landed clean on her puppy crushing it to death instantly. I get up quickly and regain my poise. MAN! She must think I’m an ass, tripping and falling down in front of her. Oh yeah, and the dead puppy thing.

So I keep walking towards her. It’s a very wide road dude! So I continue walking with the envelope in my hand. Wait, did I forget to mention the envelope the whole time? DAMMIT! So yeah, there was an envelope in my hand the whole time! Moving on, I finally reach her. She stands there looking at me with a look of pleasant surprise or complete disgust, I couldn’t say which. It took me months to gather enough courage to finally come up and face her so I take a deep breath and speak…
“It took me months to gather enough courage to finally come up and face you.”
Then I hold out my hand and realize the envelope isn’t there. With my brain power and quick thinking, I deduce within a mere 22 minutes that the envelope was in my other hand. So I hold up that hand now and tell her…
“This letter is for you.”
I tell her about its importance…
 “It is important!”
Just then, the spirit of the lil dog I just murdered possessed the wind and blew so hard on my hand the envelope was swept away. We both look at the envelope flew away, so I turned around and left.

DISCLAIMER : All of the characters in the above story are fictitious including me. I, myself am just a figment of my imagination. Eat that paradox fools! HA HA!


  1. How much did you weigh that you managed to squish the poor puppy??

    A classic case of "love is blind".

  2. Yeah like Purba asked..
    How much do you weigh dude???

  3. It isn't how much I weigh, it is how squishy the puppy was!


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